The Ultimate Question
by key-to-life
Summary: This is just a bit of stupid fun that came to me one day, so please don't read if your looking for something serious! Basically, Greg has a question he just HAS to find the answer to.
1. Chapter 1

This is just a bit of silliness, don't expect anything serious from this fic! Enjoy anyway if you dicide to read.

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It had been a slow night and all the CSI's seemed to either be piecing together the last parts of their investigation or writing up case reports somewhere quiet in the lab. One lab rat in particular was seriously bored.

There was only a few hundred times Greg could spin on his swivel chair without starting to experience the 'dizziness effect'.

Tapping his pen on one of the microscopes, he let out a sigh. He was just so fed up. Due to the lack of cases, Greg had only analysed one piece of evidence all night and when he went to give Grissom the results, Grissom had already known the answer and had the guy waiting in police custody while Brass set up the interrogation room. This had seriously pissed Greg off as his knowledge and expertises hadn't been needed or even acknowledged in this instance. In a mood, Greg has already annoyed Hodges, read two old 'Sand and Surf' magazines, listened to his favourite rock songs (at a very loud volume), re-stocked the lab, annoyed Hodges some more and even tried to read a Sherlock Holmes novel he found in the break room (he only got to page three before giving up)!

Yep, for Greg Sanders, this was a very boring shift. He crossed his arms on top of the counter and lay his head down on his arms. Another heavy sigh escaped him.

As Greg was about to dose off from apathy – the idea suddenly hit him – **THE ULTIMATE QUESTION!** He jumped up quickly, almost making his swivel chair fall to the floor as he ran out of his lab. He just _HAD_ to know the answer to his question.

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I promise to update soon, as you will find out what Greg's ultimate question is in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

"C.O.D?"

"Asphyxiation. Note the petechial haemorrhaging in the eyes and the lividity around the ligature marks on the neck. This victim was definitely strangled!"

Grissom listened intensively as Doc Robbins reported his findings on the young brunette's dead body.

"I've just sent a SART kit to Greg, although there was no sign of a rape or even a struggle. This girl was just an easy kill."

"Or in the wrong place at the wrong time," Grissom corrected.

"Well we'll know soon enough," Doc agreed – nodding his head slightly while placing his scalpel back onto the metal tray which made a small 'clink' when the tool hide the surface.

"So did you…."

"Tox screen's back!" David Phillips shyly walked into the dark autopsy room. Aware of the fact that he'd just interrupted Grissom, he noted to himself **_NEVER_** to speak before he was fully in a room again.

Grissom didn't seem too annoyed though and give David a soft but hardly noticeable smile, as he gave the tox screen report over to Robbins.

"Alcohol level 0.4 definitely not enough to incapacitate her!" Robbins stated, sounded quite disappointed in this information and gave a heavy sign.

"Well that rules out my theory" Grissom said either trying to lighten the mood and not really succeeding. Or he was actually trying to come to the terms that he himself was back to square one – with a young Jane Doe on the table with no motive or means for her killing.

"So where does…."

Grissom was rudely interrupted for the second time that afternoon by the double autopsy doors flying open making all three men jump simultaneously. Greg Sanders came bounding into the room showing no respect for the poor dead woman lying on the table, only half covered by a white sheet.

"Hey Grissom, Grissom." Greg stopped in his tracks, as he slowly looked down on the table suddenly noticing for the first time the brunette lying cold, blue and stiff.

All eyes were now on a silent Greg.

But it was Grissom who broke the silence.

"Greg do you have a question for me or can it wait? We're sort of in the middle of something here." Grissom spoke very softly as if he was talking to a child due to the fact that Greg's eyes were wide and fearful at being so close to the dead body.

"No it can't!" A fully composed Greg nearly shouted standing up perfectly straight now, but still with a hint of mischief in his dark chocolate-brown eyes. A small smile playing on his lips.

"Ok….and you question is?" Asked Grissom slowly but thoughtfully.

"What's you favourite Disney movie?" Greg asked innocently enough.

"Excuse me?"

But it was Doc Robbins who spoke first, "Well mine was Mary Poppins, (giving a small laugh) I use to know all the dialogue off by heart."

"Really?" David asked quite shocked, "Mary Poppins? Mine was Robin Hood – it was so funny as a child."

All eyes were now on David at his strange and surprising outburst considering he was usually to quiet, shy type who rarely offered advice or an opinion.

"O…k…a…y!" Greg said slowly before smacking his hands together and recovered to speaking at a normal speed, "Well that's everyone apart from Grissom's."

Greg was clearly not hiding his anticipation very well.

There was a long pause of silence in the autopsy room.

Grissom sighed clearly understanding there was no way he was getting out of this one, "The Jungle Book" he finally said, keeping a very impressive matter-of-fact tone.

"Thank you! That's all I needed to know."

And as quick as possible, Greg turned oh his heels and sprinted out of the room, leaving all three men to stare at the spot that Greg had previously occupied.

Robbins shook his head, "Strange kid."

"Yeah!" Grissom replied with a hint of a laugh.

"Hey! He didn't tell us what his favourite Disney movie was." Super Dave said leading all of them into their own thoughts for a second before simultaneously looking up as if expecting Greg to come leaping back through those stainless steel doors with his answer.

But he never returned. He was too busy scouring the corridors for his next victim!


	3. Chapter 3

After leaving the autopsy room, it didn't take the DNA tech long to know exactly where he would find his next two victims. These were two women he definitely knew he could annoy, but by using his boyish charm and wit still appear lovable and get away with almost anything. With his mind set on his destination, Greg was very fortunate not to run into Brass, who was briskly striding down the Crime Lab's corridor. Greg knew this was his only opportunity,

"Hey Brass, what's your favourite Disney movie?"

"Beat it, Sanders."

"Ah! So it's embarrassing, I got ya."

Brass just shot him a look that said _'I'm pissed off already, don't fuck with me'_ and continued his walking. Greg, not _that_ interested in Brass's answer anyway, continued towards the fingerprinting lab where he knew he'd find Catherine and Jacqui.

"I got four prints off the weapon – one matching your vic and the other three belonging to your suspect."

"Great!" Catherine replied, "We've definitely got enough evidence here to put this bastard away for life."

Jacqui agreed, "No judge in the state will let him off with this amount of evidence, it's a sure bet!"

"Oh, don't tell Warrick if you're placing bets," laughed Greg

"Greg, Warrick wouldn't be able to handle my sorta bets." Jacqui insisted not even looking up from her work place.

"Oh, I like a woman who knows what she wants, mmm it's so se….."

"GREG! What do you want?" Catherine sighed trying her best not to let her irritation seep through. She was almost finished with her case, the same damn case she'd been processing for weeks. The last thing she needed now was some young, blond lab rat holding her up with silly, childish comments right at the end of her investigation.

"I have a question for you fine, foxy ladies and then I'll leave."

Catherine couldn't help but be intrigued, she knew when Greg used flattery it had to be important and worth hearing.

"Ok. What's the question?"

**_Silence _**

Greg leaned in closer – he knew he had both women in the palm of his hand, hanging on like a thread to his every word.

"What's your favourite Disney movie?" Greg announced in a slight whisper.

Catherine and Jacqui just looked at each other before erupting with laughter.

"Why do you want to know that Greg?" Jacqui managed to blurt out in-between her hysteria and the short, quick breaths she was taking.

"I just do…Come on humour me."

"No Greg!" Catherine said in a motherly sort-of-tone as if Greg had just asked for another cookie right before his dinner.

"Ok fine but I bet you can't guess what each others favourite Disney movie is!"

Jacqui took one look at Catherine,

"Bambi?"

"Bambi? Eh no, too dated. No, no mines Beauty and the Beast. Lindsay and I use to watch it once a week with a big tub of popcorn, sitting curled up on the sofa in our pyjamas under a blanket."

As Catherine reminisced about the good old days with her daughter, Greg repeatedly nodded his head as if he too knew exactly what Catherine was talking about. He quickly snapped out of this phase however, before facing Catherine,

"And what do you thing Jacqui's favourite Disney movie is?"

Catherine thought for a few seconds, slightly scrunching up her face in the process and tightening up her eyes into tiny slits before pointing her right index finger straight at Jacqui and stating,

"The Little Mermaid?"

"No, guess again."

"Lady and the Tramp?"

"No. Try Cinderella. I love that movie, I wish I had a fairy godmother."

"Don't we all" Catherine nodded in agreement.

"Well I guess I won that bet, since neither one of you young ladies guessed the others correctly. Therefore because I won, I'm not telling you my favourite Disney movie."

Catherine just shrugged, "Fine then, don't tell us."

She knew Greg too well and knew this would get him confessing. Looking stunned but not defeated Greg knew he couldn't rise to the bait so instead he spun on his heels and exited the lab, in a slow, sulking teenager kind of manner. The women may have won this round, but there were plenty more people left for Greg to annoy. This thought seemed to perk Greg up as he took off at a strong, healthy stride round the corner, leaving two professionals giggling far behind him in the fingerprinting room…


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all the reviews - please keep it up.

Anyway hope you enjoy chapter 4 and i want to dedicate it to my G&T friend (you know who u are).

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"Can you enlarge that?"

"Resizing x30."

"Oh my God!" Sara gasped, "That can't be what it looks like?"

Archie laughed, "Yeah, I think it is – your killer tried to sneak away in a giant penguin outfit. Classy eh?"

Sara shook her head, "Is it just me or are killers getting really stupid?"

"It's not just you!" Archie sighed, shaking his head but unsuccessfully concealing his widening grin.

"Print me out a copy of that, will ya." Sara asked, also trying hard not to lose her professionalism.

The printer beeped with completion but just as Archie was about to reach over for the photo, another hand got on his way, removing the print first from the tray.

Greg examined the photo in his cool, calm manner with one leg loosely crossed over the other and his right elbow resting on one of the many monitors in the AV lab (which was secretly keeping him from falling over).

"This can't be what it looks like?" Greg laughed.

Not planning on answering him, Sara just exhaled,

"What do you want Greg?" She finally asked, before quickly snatching the photo out of his hands.

Snapping him out of his somewhat photo daze, Greg's perfect smile seemed to become larger than ever as his energy was almost bursting out of him.

"I have a question for you guys."

"O…K." Archie asked a little bit puzzled, seeing the excitement in Greg now "What's the question?"

Staring directly at Sara now, Greg slowly stated, "What's…Your…Favourite…Disney…Movie?"

"Well that's easy!" Archie exclaimed, "Without a doubt mines Toy Story. Everything about it is amazing, the characters, the voices, the plot. _"Too infinity and beyond."" _– Archie sniggered – "that's a great line."

Sara and Greg silently stared at their colleague, with puzzled frowns on their faces.

"What?" whined Archie defensively showing signs of hurt, but most of all embarrassment.

"Sara, it's you're turn!" Greg exclaimed a little too loudly, before sticking out his tongue and shifting his whole body round to face her in one swift movement.

"Well, erm, mines, erm, why do you want to know?"

"Oh come on Sara, I told you guys mine." Archie pleaded, secretly hoping this would take some of the embarrassment factor off of him.

"Alright, fine. My favourite Disney movie is Dumbo...It's just so sad, he gets treated like an outsider just because he has big, floppy ears."

"Sara, it's only a movie." Greg softly said, gripping both Sara's shoulders, giving her a very slight shake while piercing her eyes with his. This seemed to work and brought Sara out of her trance-like-state.

"Ok _stud_ – what's your favourite Disney movie?"

"What's that I hear?" Greg asked, cupping his ear with his hand, "Oh, my Blue Hawaiian is calling, later."

Without even waiting, Greg ran from the AV lab ever-so-slightly missing the metal doorframe on his left, banging his shoulder on the way out.

Sara and Archie couldn't help but stare with bewildered looks on their faces. As soon as their eyes met one another's, they both give out a little embarrassing laugh as if to say _'what the hell was that about'_, before going back to their case of trying to identify the giant killer penguin.


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for all the reviews guys. Well here you go, Nick and Warrick's favourite movies. Enjoy!

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There were only two more people left that Greg knew he had to ask his ultimate question to and couldn't wait to find out the answer. He had a fair idea where he's find the CSIs. Nick and Warrick had been given the easiest case of the week so far and had solved it in record time. Simply put all the evidence and circumstances pointed towards their victim committing suicide.

For the majority of their shift, the two friends had been sitting comfortably on the break room's couch playing the new PS3 – which was Nick's new pride and joy and he just loved whooping Warrick's ass at '_Ridge Racer 7' _(even though it didn't happen that often).

Striding down the corridor like a man on a mission. Greg completely disregarded Hodges poking his head out of the Trace lab.

"Hey, word is your asking everyone what their favourite Disney movie is. Well mines…"

"SHUT UP HODGES! No-one cares about you!" Greg prounced in a mono toned voice. His smile was getting bigger by the minute as he watched Hodges retract back into the lab. However, he may have said this a little louder than he had anticipated.

At the glass doors of the break room, Greg could see that the guys were taking a hard earned break as they were both sitting at the table, cups in hand, blowing the steam off of there too-hot-to-drink, freshly made coffee.

'_That better not be my secret stash!'_ Greg thought.

"Hey guys, what you up to?" Greg asked in an innocent voice, slowly making his way up to the table.

"Nothing!" simultaneously replied Nick and Warrick.

"GREAT!" bounced Greg into the seat next to Nick, which was rewarded with both men giving him one of the strangest looks he'd had gotten all night.

"I have a question for you guys and it's really important and I want you _really_ to think about it before giving an answer. Ok?"

"G, what is it?" Nick's face was like an open book with all his concern and anxiety shining through. His tone was that of a worried older brother. He gently rubbed the upper part of Greg's arm smoothly in a consistent motion. "You can ask me anything, what's bothering you."

Greg, never one to miss out on the chance to be centre of attention, played up to Nick's pity and sympathetic looks. He bowed his head, squeezed his eyes shut before giving a long sigh. All for the dramatic effect of course.

Even Warrick sitting across the table was starting to get tense about their DNA wizard current state.

"Ok. Here goes" Greg paused, "What's your favourite Disney movie?"

Greg immediately lifted his head, giving Nick a perfectly formed smile.

Nick just looked back pissed.

"Well I'll be damned Sanders, I was actually starting to worry about you there."

Warrick laughed, slapping the table for good measure.

Nick just continued to glare.

"Ok, well I'm up for this" Warrick interrupted, "Mine is Pinocchio."

Nick broke off his glaring at Greg and both himself and Greg just started at Warrick from across the table, surprised by his honesty.

"What? My grandmother use to make me watch it, said it had good morals and taught you about life. I don't know, even though I was watching it to be _'educated'_ on why it's wrong to lie, I still enjoyed the movie. It's a classic, how can you not like it."

Nick agreed, "Ok. Yeah, I'll give you that, it is a classic."

"So Nick, what's yours?" Greg asked curiously.

"I don't think I should tell you guys."

"Come on man, I said mine." Warrick reminded him.

"Ok. Mine's Pocahontas."

It was now Warrick and Greg that were staring at Nick before irrupting with laughter.

"Did you like her or something?" Warrick asked in-between laughing.

"Nah, nothing like that, I just thought the storyline was kinda sad, and the songs are catchy and you just know that the dog and raccoon are getting it on with each other," Nick snickered, "They're so gay."

Nick's little outburst had well and truly killed the conversation in the break room.

Wishing he'd just lied instead, Nick cleared his throat. "So Greg, spill - what's yours?"

Without missing a beat, Greg looked down at his watch before stating, "Oh would you look at the time, I gotta get back to work."

With a burst of energy, Greg was out his chair and out of the room before even Warrick and Nick knew what hit them.

After a second, Nick shook his head. "Wait, Greg doesn't have anything to process in the lab tonight!"

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Please review, next up GREG'S favourite Disney movie hehe.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews - u have no idea how nice they are to read! Told u this fic was completely silly. Anyways here we go...

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"He didn't tell us his favourite Disney movie?" Nick whimpered.

"Man, I bet you anything its Peter Pan! The story is basically about him – the boy why never grew up."

Nick shorted, "Yeah, that's definitely our Greggo!"

Both men laughed and nodded before locking their eyes with each other.

"You up for a little bet?" Nick questioned.

"You know it!" Warrick replied.

And within an instant the CSIs had leaped out of their chairs and left the break room, leaving behind their cups of steaming hot coffee.

Nick and Warrick advanced towards the DNA lab. Nothing was going to stop them. As they passed the Fingerprinting lab, Catherine and Jacqui were just leaving. All four of them stopped and starred at each other intensely.

"Greg?" Nick asked.

"Greg!" Catherine scowled.

The four colleagues continued their march towards the DNA lab. As they approached Archie and Sara exited from the AV lab across the hall.

"Let me guess, Greg?" Sara insisted, with arms folder over her chest, her gap toothed smile shown in all its glory. Not really expecting anyone to answer, the others just nodded in confirmation.

All six of them reached the DNA lab. Catherine put her left index finger to her lips as all of them slipped silently into the lab.

Greg had his back to the team, totally unaware that they had just entered _his_ lab. He had been chilling on his swivel chair, absent mindedly spinning around and round, with his head back and eyes closed. He was considering putting on some music as he still had nothing to process.

Catherine couldn't help but think how peaceful and quiet Greg looked when he wasn't talking and had his eyes closed. But this thought was interrupted by Warrick, who broke the silence by clearing his throat, loudly.

A little shocked to see four CSIs and two fellow lab rats in his lab at once, Greg managed to keep his cool asking, "Can I help you?"

He smiled as sweetly as he could, hoping this would be enough to make everyone turn around and leave.

_No Chance._

"Cut the crap Greg! We want to know what your favourite Disney movie is. Since we all told you ours and we're not leaving here until we get an answer!" Catherine stated quite firmly.

Greg (who was actually speechless for a second) nodded his head and slowly began to speak.

"Well since I have no choice, my favourite Disney mov…Oh! I think I hear Grissom calling – gotta go!"

Greg immediately turned to leave the lab through the opposite set of doors than the ones that everyone else had came in. He took a few steps before spinning around once more to face everyone again.

Shrugging he said, "You know I can't keep the boss waiting."

Greg turned again to leave and walked straight into Grissom.

"Looking for me Greg?" He asked kindly.

They had been so silent walking into the lab, Greg hadn't even heard Grissom, David and Doc Robbins coming in through the doors.

Greg was trapped.

"So I ask you again, what's your favourite Disney movie Greg?" Catherine repeated, a huge grin on her face, her arms folded and her right foot tapping on the tiled floor. She knew she had him now, this time he couldn't escape.

"I…eh…well, eh…my fav…**Quick what's that over there?**" Greg shouted, pointing to one of the many corners of the lab. Stupidly everyone looked, making this the perfect distraction while Greg ran out of the lab, dashing passing Grissom, David and Doc on the way. He assumed they'd all be too slow to catch up with him anyway.

That is of course except for one very sneaky CSI.

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Hehe i'm so evil! Ok please don't kill me, the last installment will be up before u know it and it really does tell u Greg's favourite Disney movie!


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for all the reviews, told you I wouldn't make you wait too long. So here we go Greg's favourite disney movie and the final chapter of this fic!

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Greg continued running down the corridors at record speed. Once he thought he was safe, he attempted a look back, just to confirm he wasn't being followed by a stamped of pissed off CSIs and lab rats.

Still looking behind him, Greg ran directly into Nick, who remained standing tall, arms crossed tightly over his body, glaring at Greg for the second time that night.

_Greg had really thought he was safe?_

"Oh shit!" Greg whispered.

"Yeah! You could say that. So, come on, there's no-one about, it's only you and me so tell me."

Greg thought about it.

"No Nick. I can't its embarrassing."

"Come on Greggo!" Nick pleaded, "I told you mine and that I thought a dog and a raccoon were gay – that's kinda weird, not to mention embarrassing. So come on tell me!"

"Ok fine but you can't tell anyone else."

"Alright man. Tell me."

"The Little Mermaid"

Nick nodded, secretly biting his tongue trying so hard not to double over in laughter. Perplexity took over Nick's face however as he asked, "Why?"

"Cause I…well I kinda thought Ariel was cute and she was semi-naked and that was kinda hot and I use to get carried away sometimes and…you know."

Nick shook his head, completely not understanding what Greg was trying to say.

Greg sighed, lowered his head a little, "I use to get carried away and masturbate during it."

"Because of a fish?"

"Not a fish! A mermaid"

"Oh!"

"It was the hair and the body and that little bikini top – it worked for me when I was younger." Greg continued trying his best to defend himself.

"You don't still get off to the movie, do you?"

"NO!" Greg shouted, now looking directly into Nick's eyes.

"Greg Sanders are you blushing?" Nick snickered. This was by far better than anything he could have guessed.

"I gotta go." Greg said quickly, before taking off down the corridor again.

Nick waited until the young lab tech was completely out of site before bursting into laugher and hastily made his way back to the DNA lab, where he knew everyone else was still waiting getting more impatient by the minute.

As soon as he entered the lab, all eyes were on him. The anticipation running through everyone's body as the adrenaline started pumping.

"Well Nicky, did you find out?" Catherine cried in excitement.

Nick smiled, crossed his arms, gave a full blown grin and said in a smooth Texan voice, "Oh Yeah!"


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